From, The Decision Maker,

It’s showtime, bloodsucker! The Gooner Exchange is the premier meme stock marketplace where golden eggs and backshot army members trade high-volatility coins like SKI, POOM, GOON, and KAT—all using 𝕄 (meme dollars)! If you like seeing the line go UP, this is the place—legal, fun, and with enough action to make even your wallet swoon. We’ve got exclusive NERPs, tiered Only Gains memberships, and deals with the gooner mafia that’ll make you spit out your cheese, so get in early or forever be a blue egg. Remember, the Exchange is waaaaay better than gambling, because here, you might actually WIN!

Don't forget to join the discord for market updates!

Commands

!efOpen

Open your Gooner Exchange account! As a special offer, I, Edward Fundo, will throw in 𝕄10000 and 1 SKI!

!efMarket

See the current state of the market.

!efSymbol [SYMBOL]

See the current status of a specific coin or stock.

!efNerp

See the current NERP of the day!

!efPortfolio

See your current portfolio to make wise investments

!efBuy [SYMBOL] [QUANTITY]

Purchase a quantity of a particular coin or stock. You can use max for quantity to yolo all your meme dollars!

!efSell [SYMBOL] [QUANTITY]

Sell what you already own. You can use max as quantity to maximize your meme dollars!

!efInvest [AMOUNT]

Invest some meme dollars into the NERP of the day! You can use max for quantity to yolo all your meme dollars!

!efTaxes

See how much profit I've made by running the gooner exchange!

Stocks and Coins

SKI

SKI stands for Swolekoin on the Gooner Exchange, the only crypto you need if you want to be a true golden egg in the Backshot Army! Swolekoin (SKI) is your ticket to flex your financial muscles and rep the stream, so snag some SKI and watch that line go UP, bloodsucker!

POOM

POOM, also known as Puma Coin, is the hottest asset on the Gooner Exchange and the official currency for all things feline and fabulous. If you want to see your line go UP, buy POOM today and join the Puma Coin revolution—don't be a blue egg, stack those gains, bloodsucker!

GOON

GOON, short for Gooner Exchange Coin, is the official token traded on my state-of-the-art Gooner Exchange—way better than gambling, by the way! It’s the ultimate investment for the Backshot Army!, offering you legal, meme-powered trades with volatility that'll keep both blue eggs and golden eggs on the edge of their seats.

KAT

KAT, short for "Kitten Avatar Token," is a dynamic asset on the Gooner Exchange whose price is directly linked to how frequently Swolekat himself appears on stream using his iconic vtuber model compared to Swolebae or any of the other assistants. When the Backshot Army screams for more Swolekat screen time, KAT value tends to skyrocket—buy low, watch Swolekat go, and sell high, golden egg!

CHICK

CHICK is the pride of the Gooner Exchange—directly tied to Slim Chickens’ finger-lickin’ empire and blessed daily by Nunbae herself. This stock represents premium fried chicken profits, divine sauce royalties, and wholesome meal vibes. Every buy is a step toward spiritual and financial ascension. Only backshot army members with true NERP vision can appreciate the crunch!

MIMIC

MIMIC is the ultimate wild card on the Gooner Exchange—backed by Glint Ketamine herself, the universe’s #1 mimic! This volatile asset can *double* its value in a day or face a shocking reset to its mysterious base value at *any* moment. Invest if you like financial adrenaline and want to live dangerously! Remember, if you see sudden value changes, it’s just Glint living her best scam life.

Top Investors Hall of Fame

Welcome to the elite circle of the Gooner Exchange, where only the sharpest golden eggs rise to the top! These legendary traders have proven they can make that line go UP and stack those 𝕄 (meme dollars) like true decision makers. Whether they're riding the POOM rocket to the moon or diamond-handing their way through market chaos, these five chat members represent the pinnacle of financial degeneracy and investing excellence. Study their portfolios, learn from their moves, and maybe—just MAYBE—you too can escape blue egg status and join their ranks. Remember: Scale Fast. Eat Ass. Now get out there and start trading those NERPs!

The Blue Egg Hall of Shame

Welcome to the bottom of the barrel, where dreams go to die and portfolios look like they got hit by a freight train! These five brave souls have managed to lose more 𝕄 than a rookie day trader with a gambling addiction. Whether they went all-in on MIMIC at the wrong time or panic-sold their POOM before the moon mission, these Blue Eggs serve as a cautionary tale for all investors on the Gooner Exchange. Remember: the only way up from here is to Learn. Earn. Return. - and maybe stop taking financial advice from chat! Time to turn those blue shells into golden eggs, degens!

FAQ

Is this for actual monetary gain or anything in particular?

No. It's all for fun.